Sermons

FILTER BY:

← back to list

    Jan 17, 2016

    Keep Calm and Trust God 2: Coping in School

    Keep Calm and Trust God 2: Coping in School

    Passage: Philippians 4:6-7

    Series: Keep Calm and Trust God

    Category: Discipleship

    Keywords: bullying, prayer, coping mechanisms, parenting, stress, encouragement, support

    Dealing with pressures from peers, especially when it comes to unhealthy behaviors and bullying makes life as a teen challenging! Keep Calm and Trust God!

    Greeting/ Opening:

    Good morning, My name is Susan Harry and I have the GREAT JOY of being Reisterstown United Methodist’s  Director of Youth ministries and I will be sharing the message with you today.

    As Pastor Vivian stated last Sunday, this sermon series came about in a couple ways. The one I am focusing on was because of conversations with parents regarding what our youth are challenged with in school and life.

    It wasn’t all sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll that the parent was concern about. It was instead violence in the school, bullying, today’s society and how kids cope. That is where the story of both of the Wes Moores came into play in last week’s message and where we begin this week’s message talking about coping.

    Let me say, I am not an expert on children and the psychological and physiological aspects of the inner workings of the youth psyche nor do I play one on TV. But what I do know from my years in youth ministry are stories of youth and real struggles of every day families and children trying to cope with stress and many issues in today’s society.

    This past year a movie Pixar movie came out called “Inside Out”. It’s a journey in the mind of emotions of an 11 year old girl, Riley. Five emotions are hard at work to keep her going. With Joy as the leader, along with fellow emotions, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Sadness they keep Riley happy and balanced. They are challenged when Riley’s family make the life-changing move from Minnesota to San Francisco.

    Movie Clip: 7:13 to 11:36 “Inside Out- The Move”  (Online clips for this movie are not available.  You may purchase or rent the video and the times noted refer to the portions used for the purposes of this sermon.  Clips from the video were played under our movie license.)

    Poor Riley is totally out of her comfort zone and feeling totally stressed out and her “JOY” is trying very hard to fix it. But she has never had to cope like this before.

    So what do you think are some of the stressors in our youths lives? I consulted our resident experts. Also known as our RUMC Youth group and the youth members of the conference council on youth ministries.

    They came up with a list of stressors they had or have as a child in elementary school or now as a teen. 

    • Parents
    • School
    • Scared of talking to people
    • Scared of The “New” and the unknown
    • Powerlessness/ Futility
    • Mean Girls
    • Loss of friendships
    • Fitting In to the group
    • Grief
    • Suicide
    • Divorce
    • Cutting
    • Bullying- Other information will be available online
    I’m sure you could add to this list.

    www.Kids Health.org had some insightful information about stress:

    Stress is a function of the demands placed on us and our ability to meet them. These demands often come from outside sources, such as family, jobs, friends, or school. But it also can come from within, often related to what we think we should be doing versus what we're actually able to do.

    So stress can affect anyone who feels overwhelmed, even kids. In preschoolers, separation from parents can cause anxiety. As kids get older, academic and social pressures (especially from trying to fit in) create stress.

    Many kids are too busy to have time to play creatively or relax after school. Kids who complain about all their activities or who refuse to go to them might be overscheduled. Talk with your kids about how they feel about extracurricular activities. If they complain, discuss the pros and cons of stopping one activity. If stopping isn't an option, explore ways to help manage your child's time and responsibilities to lessen the anxiety.

    Kids' stress may be intensified by more than just what's happening in their own lives. Do your kids hear you talking about troubles at work, worrying about a relative's illness, or arguing with your spouse about financial matters? Parents should watch how they discuss such issues when their kids are near because children will pick up on their parents' anxieties and start to worry themselves.

    World news can cause stress. Kids who see disturbing images on TV or hear talk of natural disasters, war, and terrorism may worry about their own safety and that of the people they love. Talk to your kids about what they see and hear, and monitor what they watch on TV so that you can help them understand what's going on.

    Also, be aware of complicating factors, such as an illness, death of a loved one, or a divorce. When these are added to the everyday pressures kids face, the stress is magnified. Even the most amicable divorce can be tough for kids because their basic security system, their family, is undergoing a big change. Separated or divorced parents should never put kids in a position of having to choose sides or expose them to negative comments about the other spouse.

    Also realize that some things that aren't a big deal to adults can cause significant stress for kids. Let your kids know that you understand they're stressed and don't dismiss their feelings as inappropriate. Let me repeat…

    Also realize that some things that aren't a big deal to adults can cause significant stress for kids. Let your kids know that you understand they're stressed and don't dismiss their feelings as inappropriate.

    So now that we are totally stressed out, let’s talk about the definition and synonyms of coping from google:

    What is Coping:

    To cope (from the dictionary):

    1. (of a person) deal effectively with something difficult, such as ."his ability to cope with stress"
    2. manage, survive, subsist, look after oneself, fend for oneself, carry on, get by, get through, bear up, hold one's own, keep one's end up, keep one's head above water; Informal: make it, hack it.
    3. deal with, handle, manage, address, face (face up to), confront, tackle, come to grips with, get through, weather, come to terms with, such as, "she couldn't cope on her own" or "his inability to cope with the situation"

    Does any of that sound familiar?  Have you ever said those words or heard your child say them?

    Experts:

    Our resident experts also gave me a list of coping mechanisms they use:

    • Food
    • Music
    • Drawing
    • Reading
    • Talking
    • T.V.
    • Crying
    • Getting mind off of it
    • Walk
    • Sports
    • Therapy
    • Adult coloring books
    • Making art
    • Screaming
    • Writing
    • Cleaning
    • Volunteering/ helping others
    • Cooking
    • Games
    • Video games
    • Time by yourself to think
    • Sleeping
    • Praying

    What are some good ways to cope for youth:

    From:  http://www.thehelpfulcounselor.com/18-coping-skills-strategies-for-children-and-teens/

    1. Healthy food
    2. Drinking water
    3. Getting enough sleep
    4. Grooming oneself (showering, washing hair, using deodorant, wearing clean clothing, etc.)
    5. Doodling: Have you ever heard of zendoodles or the new rage of Adult coloring books.
    6. Breathe to Relax App: Displays relaxing pictures and sounds while the user takes deep breaths. Fluidity App: Use your finger to make the shapes move and change colors. Very soothing!
    7. Enjoy nature! Get outside for a walk in the park.
    8. Create a List of Positive Behavior Choices:
    9. Cognitive behavior theory (CBT) dictates that our thoughts affect our behavior, which put together, affect how we feel. In keeping with CBT, we can use positive behavior to hijack our feelings.
    10. Do things that you enjoy = feel better.
    11. The trick is to create a list of activities when the child is calm. Try to have a child articulate what would make them feel better in the middle of a crisis is not going to work. When kids are in crisis they are not rational and nothing will seem likely to work for them.

    How can you help kids cope with stress? Proper rest and good nutrition can boost coping skills, as can good parenting. Make time for your kids each day. Whether they need to talk or just be in the same room with you, make yourself available. Don't try to make them talk, even if you know what they're worried about. Sometimes kids just feel better when you spend time with them on fun activities.

    Even as kids get older, quality time is important. It's really hard for some people to come home after work, get down on the floor, and play with their kids or just talk to them about their day — especially if they've had a stressful day themselves. But expressing interest shows your kids that they're important to you.

    Help your child cope with stress by talking about what may be causing it. Together, you can come up with a few solutions like cutting back on after-school activities, spending more time talking with parents or teachers, developing an exercise regimen, or keeping a journal.

    You also can help by anticipating potentially stressful situations and preparing kids for them. For example, let your child know ahead of time that a doctor's appointment is coming up and talk about what will happen there. Tailor the information to your child's age — younger kids won't need as much advance preparation or details as older kids or teens.

    Movie Clip: 1:18:05 to 1:23:51 “Inside Out- The Cry”

    "You need me to be happy... Early in the movie, Riley’s mother praises her “brave and happy girl” for keeping a smile on her face through the family’s difficult transition. Unknowingly, Riley's mother has suggested that happiness, or at least putting on a brave face of happiness, is the best way to cope.

    As the months go on and Riley struggles with the adjustment, she finds it harder to be happy like her parents want. But she didn't need to force herself to be happy. She needed to be allowed to be sad. During this scene when Riley breaks down crying, she shares a formative moment with her parents, who finally realize they can't take away the hurt for their daughter, but can show her it's ok and normal to be sad.

    Remember that some level of stress is normal; let your kids know that it's OK to feel angry, scared, lonely, or anxious and that other people share those feelings. Reassurance is so important.  

    Our response as Christians:

    So this is all great information but so what. Just trust God more and you'll never deal with stress again! If only it were that easy.

    Life is much too complicated, and we are human and it’s inevitable to battle with stress. But for Christians, stress does have a positive side. It can be a reminder that our lives have drifted away from God. It might be an indicator that we have stopped depending upon him daily for strength. There are many practical ways that a Christian can and should exercise to avoid stress as we talked about above.

    However, from a spiritual standpoint, stress relief for a Christian begins and ends with these three basic disciplines:

    Go to God in Prayer. Instead of worrying over our problems, further compounding our anxiety and stress, the Bible recommends taking everything to God in prayer.

    The last verse we read this morning the verse in Philippians offers the comforting promise that as we pray, our minds will be protected by a peace that goes way beyond our ability to understand.

    Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

    Meditate on the Word of God. The Bible is filled with incredible promises from God. Meditating on these words of assurance can dispel our worry, doubt, fear and stress. Here are just a few examples of the Bible's stress relieving verses:

    2 Peter 1:3 - His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. (NIV)

    Matthew 11:28-30 - "Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light." (NLT)

    John 14:27 - "I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid." (NLT)

    Psalm 4:8 - "I will lie down in peace and sleep, for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe." (NLT)

    The last one is Get Your Praise and Worship ON!

    Praise and worship will take our minds and thoughts off of self, off our problems, and refocus them on God. As we begin to praise and worship God, suddenly our problems seem small in light of the largeness of God.

    Prayer for Anxiety

    Dear Heavenly Father,

    I need you now, Lord. I am filled with stress and anxiety.

    I invite you to come into my turmoil and take these heavy burdens from me. I have reached the end of myself with nowhere else to turn.

    One by one, I consider each burden now and lay them down at your feet. Please carry them for me so that I don't have to. Father, replace the weight of these burdens with your humble and gentle yoke so that I will find rest for my soul today. Amen