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    Jan 17, 2016

    Keep Calm and Trust God 3: Young Adults Cope with Change

    Keep Calm and Trust God 3: Young Adults Cope with Change

    Passage: 2 Timothy 1:2-6

    Speaker: Rev. Vivian McCarthy, Pastor

    Series: Keep Calm and Trust God

    Category: Discipleship, Faith, Grace

    Keywords: coping mechanisms, encouragement, parenting, prayer, stress, support

    Young adults face tremendous changes from seemingly sudden new-found freedom and responsibility to every conceivable human life situation: career, sexuality, singleness, marriage, parenthood, spirituality, establishing identity that is not tied to parents, how to use money and often these days how to control debt when credit cards are marketed to young adults with a vengeance, drug use (often introduced very casually these days). Added to that is their developmental task of developing identity and personhood that is not connected to their parents – in other words, separating from parents. Jesus is a model for coping with change, threat, stress.

    When Erin (our daughter) was starting college, the school invited all entering freshmen and their parents to an orientation weekend.  There were tours, time to work on their class schedules, sessions for the students, sessions for their parents, and sessions for everybody at one time.  In one of those parent-freshman sessions, there was a series of skits put on by upper class students who were part of a group called something like the Student Life Council.

    One of the skits was about partying too hearty and missing class.  Another was about studying and procrastination.  Then things got really serious and there were skits on date rape and drinking and drugs. 

    After the assembly, I went up to the dean to thank him for such an honest portrayal of life on campus, and I could see relief wash over his face.  He said that usually when a parent approached after the skits, it was to rake him over the coals for exposing their children to such horrible things. 

    Being a young adult is not for the faint of heart in the best of circumstances.  Young adults are faced with numerous life decisions – and often they are life-changing:  career, sexuality, singleness, marriage, parenthood, spirituality, establishing identity that is not tied to parents, how to use money and often these days how to control debt when credit cards are marketed to young adults with a vengeance, drug use (often introduced very casually these days).  From the time they leave high school, young adults face life with a kind of freedom and responsibility that has never before been open to or required of them, and sometimes they have a hard time adjusting to having so many choices to make.

    And you know what?  Young adults experience every possible adult life situation:  singleness, marriage, parenthood, divorce and remarriage, employment and unemployment, military service, crushing debt – often from student loans – and on and on.

    Complicated by a human development stage that requires young adults to separate from parents and become autonomous adults, young adults sometimes turn to sources other than parents for guidance. 

    Can I just pause for a moment to say that I love young adults?  And that I don’t think I ever pray quite so hard as when I am hoping a young adult will choose well?

    In a study conducted in 2006[1] (sorry I didn’t find something more recent), 601 young adults said that they consider the breakdown of the family, violence in the community, poverty and global warming to be the most pressing issues facing their generation.  Other high stressors on the list were personal finances, school, personal relationships and peer pressure.

    In the ten years since that study, the economy has been rocky which has only made some of these issues more difficult to navigate.  I talked with a 24-year-old college student last week who, until last week, has been unable to land a job despite the fact that she has a 4.0 academic record.

    Last week, Susan talked about how youth are challenged and she gave parents some pointers as well as some pointers for the youth in coping with the issues.  That message has been posted to our website and is available for your review.  Many of the coping mechanisms that Susan mentioned apply to the whole of the human family.

    I’d like to reiterate something that Susan read from an article.  It was talking about how some things that stress kids out aren’t always a big deal to their parents.  I have found that to be true of young adults from time to time as well.  Adults sometimes forget how hard it was to establish themselves as adults and don’t take seriously the challenges faced by 20- and 30-somethings. 

    In the First Letter to Timothy, Paul reminds him that he has a lot of family support from his mother Eunice and his grandmother Lois and that he has been lovingly taught by Paul himself.  He is reminding Timothy that he has it within him to do amazing things – amazing things for God.  Paul says, “Fan into flame the gift of God that is already within you.” 

    Parents and grandparents and faith family members sometimes have the opportunity to provide support and encouragement.  And we surely have the opportunity to show our young adults that we trust them to use their gifts – in their own lives and in offering their gifts in leadership in the church.

    Let’s take another brief look at just 3 important ways to cope. 

    • Listen to yourself. One list I consulted put humor at the very top of the list.  So, how are you describing yourself and your issues?  The list went on to talk about “positive reframing” which led me to think of a number of people I know who describe many, many things in a negative way – or every single thing that comes along is like it’s the end of the world.  I am not suggesting that everything is a joke.  Rather, ask yourself if the rhetoric matches what is actually happening.  The list suggests that pointing out the amusing aspects of a problem at hand can help us deal with small things.  They are not as likely to become huge.
    • Seek support. Remember the 24-year-old who couldn’t find a job?  She was rather amazingly positive, given a multitude of serious issues that she was facing.  She looked for a little support and with just a little bit of encouragement and wisdom from some folks who had “been there” she felt comfortable enough to make another phone call and was working the very next day.
    • Remember your faith resources. I recently listened to a radio program about the science of Mindfulness and Mindlessness.  While the speaker was not a person of faith, what she said connected with me.  I’m not going to go into the science right now, but what I will say is that Mindfulness is about being fully in the moment – noticing things, not just letting life pass by.  For me, part of being Mindful is looking for how God is at work in the world and in my life.  Just as the speaker on that program would say that people must be schooled in Mindfulness – probably for most of their lives, I would say that it is important to be schooled in being mindful of God in Christ throughout our lives so that we each have a reservoir full of tools for facing life’s challenges, no matter how old we are.  And the reservoir has to be replenished.    Holy Conversation.  Worship.  Those are the tools of a person of faith. 

    Jesus faced so much in his brief ministry:  constantly under fire from the authorities, threatened by crowds, walking into serious situations of illness or impending death or deep, deep need.  Exhausting work.  Draining work.  Jesus was always Mindful – and his ability to be Mindful was born of his relationship with God.  He stayed fueled up to face whatever came.  We can, too.

    In other words, Keep Calm and Trust God.

     

    [1] Article “What Are the Biggest Challenges Young Adults Face Today?: Students Speak Up” by edutopia:  http://www.edutopia.org/challenges-young-adults